Mindfulness Explained: What It Is, What It Isn’t, and How to Start

When I was first learning how to be a therapist in graduate school, I encountered something that changed my life. I know that sounds like an exaggeration, but hear me out. At first, I thought it was a waste of time. That was my snap judgment, coming from my intellectual, skeptical mind. And it probably would have stayed that way if I hadn’t been committed to becoming a better therapist.

What am I talking about? Mindfulness.

I had to run a therapy group based on mindfulness. I didn’t want to be a hypocrite, so I forced myself to actually practice it. After just one week, I noticed something surprising: I had more space and time between my emotions and my reactions. I remember feeling annoyed that, once again, science was right.

Mindfulness isn’t about clearing your mind of thoughts or being calm all the time. It’s the practice of paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, without judgment. It sounds simple, but the benefits are real. Mindfulness can reduce anxiety and overwhelm, improve emotional regulation, increase insight and awareness, and strengthen self-compassion.

I think some common misunderstandings make mindfulness feel inaccessible. I once worked with a client who told me, “It doesn’t work.” When I asked more, they shared that they expected mindfulness to always make them feel calm. I explained that relaxation can sometimes happen, but the true benefit of mindfulness is learning to direct your attention intentionally.

Imagine you are in a dark room with a flashlight. That flashlight only illuminates part of the space at a time. That’s how our attention works. When we are dysregulated, our minds lock onto perceived threats. Sometimes that threat is an emotion like anxiety or anger, or a thought like, “No one likes me,” or “I will never figure this out.” Sometimes it’s something non-threatening like a math test, a loud noise, or a scary movie. Mindfulness helps us notice where our attention is focused and gently shift it. With that shift, our bodies can begin to deactivate the stress response, allowing us to respond based on facts instead of emotional urgency.

The good news is, mindfulness does not have to be complicated. It can be as simple as noticing how something feels. You can be mindful while brushing your teeth, walking, washing dishes, or practicing yoga. You might notice the temperature of the water, the motion of your hands, or the sounds around you. Letting go of judgment and focusing on your senses takes practice. Our minds like to wander, and it might feel like failure when we lose focus. But here’s the secret: even when we lose focus every two seconds, we are still practicing. The act of returning attention to the present moment is the skill itself.

Formal mindfulness meditation can also help. If you’re new to it, start with 30 seconds to two minutes a day. Gradually increase to five, ten, or even thirty minutes if that feels right. Guided meditations can be helpful, and there are plenty of free apps and videos available.

You don’t have to be “good” at mindfulness to benefit from it. Small shifts in awareness can lead to meaningful emotional changes. If you are struggling with thoughts, emotions, or behaviors, a therapist can help you build mindfulness skills in a way that fits your life. I love helping my clients explore practices that support their goals, at a pace that feels safe and realistic.

Holding space for whatever comes next,

Angelina Gutierrez, LPCC 18001